Billy Balloney Sues Aaron Spelling!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Billy Balloney, esteemed polyethylene individual and all around good puppet person today announced through his lawyer Gloria Allready that he intends to sue Aaron Spelling for discrimination.
Gloria Allready announced the discrimination lawsuit shortly after her other Spelling lawsuit announcement for Hunter Tyler, the woman who's pregnancy dashed a promising acting career on the Spelling show, "Melrose Place".
Mr. Balloney's lawsuit involves the fact that he is so ugly that he would never be able to get on Bay Watch. When informed that Mr. Spelling has nothing to do with the program Bay Watch, he shouted, "Oh, yea! I'm also suing him 'cause his name makes my head hurt! A-A-R-O-N S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G!!??? He has a name that is spelled wrong and then it says 'spelling' right after it to mess you up!"
Mr. Balloney believes that due solely to his horrendous looks - the piggy nose, bulbous eyes, recessed chin and thrift store clothing - he is unable to get work as a suave leading man actor and make a lot of money in show business. He demands justice from Mr. Spelling in the form of lot's of money and or a prominent role on the remake of "Bay Watch". No Justice! No Balloney!